Friday, August 21, 2015

Loved so deeply...........

The passion that Fern loves me with can at times be overwhelming.  Wanting no one else when I am around, clinging to me, crying for me, calling my name as Andrew carries her upstairs.  This season of life like all others will pass, I am consoled that some day she will not need me so very much.  But is that a consolation?  To be loved so deeply and completely, to be cherished above all else, to be sought after no matter what the cost.  One day she will not need me, will not want me, will not call out for me.  There will be a time where Leif will no longer make an excuse to come into our bedroom for more hugs and kisses before sleep.  There will be a time where Ezekiel no longer crawls into bed with me upon waking up for snuggles and "quality time".  One day they will see me for who I am, a flawed human being who makes mistakes, many of those while parenting them.  They will not be as quick to rebound from discipline showering me with hugs and kisses.  They will look at me as old, outdated, old fashioned.  My body will seem ancient to them, my standards archaic, and my hair a bad throw back.  They will fight me at times on the core of what we raised them to be.  There will be days when I look back on a night like tonight when my children needed and loved me so deeply and cherish them.  All the while hoping to some day be needed again. 

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