Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Jump off the tight rope.

The rubber meets the road and suddenly good intentions and ideals are hard to find.  The balancing act begins between life and idealism.  Something must give.  A choice must be made.  A perfect parent never has existed, only broken people doing there best with what they have.  But best is never good enough.  Either you are a helicopter or negligent.  Abusive or dismissive.  A pushover or a dictator.  Heaven forbid if you spank, give your kids sugar or tell the "because I said so".  Our generations' fears and wounds played vicariously through the lives of our children.  Trying to fix the wrongs done to us by overprotecting them.  I do not want to give my past that kind of power in my life, to parent out of fear.  I choose rather to parent out of joy and hope, and not to burden my children with the wounds of my past.  I choose to parent in reality rather then the myth of perfection that is so unattainable.  Creating a feeling of inferiority at every mistake.  I would rather live a genuine life with my children (repenting when needed), then live a sheltered life where nothing is ever risked, and my children are unable to cope with the realities of this world.  I love them too much.  And so I will not always try to fix things, but I will be there for them as they deal with disappointment.  I will not hover on the playground, but will be ready with the band-aides.  I will try to give them home cooked food on a regular basis, but I wouldn't be a sugar-nazi.  I will freely hug, forgive, and tell them that I love them no matter what.  I will occasionally spank, I will not spank while angry.  I will try to explain, teach, redirect, play, and interact.  But I will not sacrifice my sanity for answering "Why" 50 times a day.  I will ask for advice from those whom I respect.  I will not take crap from random strangers in the grocery store who do not know me or my child.  I will pray for my children.  I will tell them about Jesus.  I will try my best to live a life worthy of my faith.  And when I can't I will ask for forgiveness.  I will not pretend to be anything that I am not.  I will be genuine with my children, I will let them see me sad, angry, happy, and proud so that they are able to see how their actions and choices affect others.  I will not parent out of fear, I will trust that God is good and that his grace is sufficient. I will jump off the tightrope of this life and take my kids for a hike in the woods.  There is no such thing as balance or the myth of idealism.  There is only reality, doing the best with what you have and surrendering the rest.

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