Monday, November 24, 2014

I would never...........

I have grown accustomed to day old coffee, preserved in a jar in the fridge until it is called upon once again.  Reheating it in the microwave, time and time again.  The former barista in me shivers, but the tired mama in me is just grateful that there is such a thing as coffee.  Yet another high standard dashed on the shores of motherhood, singleness being an unrealistic watermark for life after children.  Those who have yet to walk this path may say "I would never..........."  There are many things I thought I would never do, and things that didn't even occur to me as possible.  I would never give my kids cake for breakfast (did it last week).  I would never give into a tantrum (Ha!).  I would never raise my voice, spank my child, use the word "No!", drink 7x reheated coffee, let them wear dirty clothes in public.  Because of course I am SO much better at this then all the other moms out there.  Unlike them I will have it together, never loose my temper, attain that mythical balance of the hot, cool, awesome mom who still has a social life with all of her single friends.  Dear Lord, forgive me for ever thinking this way.  I remember the judgement in my mind when I would see a mom with a dirty home, dirty kids or loosing her cool in public.  Oh if only I could tell that single, childless, skinny 20 something that I used to be "Get over yourself!"  It was nice for a time to be young and completely focused on myself, but that kind of narcissism cannot last.  Marriage and children will knock it right out of you.  As well it should.  And there is one thing that I would truly never do..........  I would never go back.

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