Thursday, June 26, 2014

In regards to gardening...........

I am purposefully ignoring the laundry piled next to me on the couch, sunshine and laundry never mix in my world.  Perfection would be the word that I would choose to describe these last few summer days, warm in the sun, cool in the shade, and several hours in the flower beds.  Pulling, pruning, pondering placement.  Digging in deep, coming up dirty and satisfied.  I always have enjoyed playing in the dirt.  Digging up worms and creating houses for them out of mud in my mothers bread pans.  Begging Grandma to let me keep the worm at the dinner table because it was my friend (country living can be lonely at times).  Covering our plastic rocking horse with mud and picking my own switch as a result.  Sandcastles, sculpture, pottery and gardening have marked my development.  I have never had a manicure, these hands weren't made for glamor but rather for laboring, loving, digging, molding, holding, and raising.  My hands are that of my mother, short, small, strong.  I think of my mother as I stoop down to pull weeds and tend to the flowers.  Many times I am told how much I am like her. I think to myself  "No I am like myself", but when it is in regards to gardening I don't mind so much.  Her hands create beauty in whatever they touch, music, art, dirt, and so I am happy to have her hands.  I hope to be known as a woman who creates beauty wherever I go, and to whatever I set these hands to.  To look at me right now you would think that I am in need of a break, three children, full ministry schedule, 2 day old moo-moo, dirty hands and feet.  Always barefoot, this is the given.  Ezekiel is showing me his flip book he made, not quite right but a good attempt.  The kid has been burning through paper at an astonishing rate, part of me wants him to conserve and not waste so much, and the to other buy stock in art supplies.  He was in the dirt all day with me, playing with worms, digging holes, sitting quietly.  Heart of my heart, me to the bone.  It is odd to see yourself reflected so completely in a small person.  This is life right now, interrupted in every way, yet part of me wonders if the interruptions are the real life, and every thing else just filler.  I am not good at self care in the set apart sense, but I care for myself in others ways.  I bathe myself in the laughter and love of my children.  I find my zen during tough moments, deep breaths.  Balance is a baby on my hip, and a hot cup of coffee in my hand.  Sleeping in is lazily nursing baby in bed, while the boys play in their room.  Alone time is grabbed here and there.   I care for myself by surrounding myself with life.  Plants, birds, children, music, fellowship, coffee dates, red wine, insane camping trips with way too many kids, these are the things that bring me life.  So I forgo the laundry, and have completely given up on any kind of daily or weekly schedule.  Finding beauty in the chaos, moments in the frenzy, life in the interruptions, grace in my failings, and redemption woven into all of creation.  Creator God living in me, consuming me with his beauty, causing it to splash out on others, covered in dirt and full of his breath.

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