Thursday, February 20, 2014
Sometimes you just fail. Today was one of those days for me. I got so caught up in the tasks at hand, and finally tackling the laundry mountain, that I forgot something. It feels like that is my life right now. One thing too many always on the plate, one thing too many falling off my plate. There are so many times that I wish that I could be everything that society is telling me to be, but my lack is far too great, maybe I need a bigger plate. Sugar free 1st birthday cakes, jeans that make your ass look great, Trendy but not trying too hard, everything made from a mason jar. Pinterest worthy home decor, being a girl worth fighting for. Brains and looks and humble as pie, this can never be you and I. Yet the blogs that tell me I am enough are hard for me. Because what we don't want to admit is that sometimes we truly blow it. There are days when I am not good, not even close, and saying your fine is not the answer. I know my heart and where my faults lie. There are days when I am not fine, good, loving or kind. There are days when I am at my worst. And while I wasn't at my worst today, I definitely was not at my best. The fact is that I am not enough. I never will be. We are broken people in a broken world, and we are not fine. Look at all that we touch and how we break them, we break people groups, we break ourselves. We are not good. I am not good. And sometimes I need help, to look outside of myself and to say "God help me".